Jingle Bells '98 Lyrics

from Album (Album Unknown) by Jorgi Jorgenson

Christmas time is here

Let's sing a little song

'98's the year Viagra

Made us hard and long.

Christmas time is now

But not all spirits bright

The president sits on his couch

Alone again tonight.

Jingle bells '98,

Olympics were a bore.

Bin Lauden bombed the embassy.

Lewinsky is a whore.

Jingle bells '98,

Santa's in his sled.

Bob hope is barely hanging on and

Frank Sinatra's dead.

Bruce Willis, Demi Moore.

They had a little tiff.

Liv Tyler's in a push up bra,

Her dad's in Aerosmith

When Seinfeld said goodbye,

He didn't shed a tear.

He didn't need a reason why,

(He's a freakin' millionaire!)

Jingle bells '98,

Goodbye to Ginger Spice.

Titanic really made us cry.

Kate Winslet's *** were nice.

Jingle bells '98,

Let's get up and dance.

Monica kept on her thong,

But Bill took off his pants.

(This afternoon in this room, on this chair, indeed I did Monica Lewinsky.

Not appropriate. Even President's have privates.)

Sonny Bono hit a tree.

It made us cry and sob.

(Mark Maguire has just hit number 70.

Listen to that cheering mob!)

George Michael's in the john,

I guess he couldn't wait.

He's playing with his jingle bells,

He's on a solo date. (Book 'im!)

Jingle bells '98,

Making spirits bright.

You can smoke some mistletoe

With Gilligan tonight.

(Hey, ease the days of the castaways.

Yea man. Hey little buddy! Yea.

Go get Ginger and Mary Jane, man.

We're gonna burn a fat skipper. Yeah!)

Jingle bells '98,

Jimmy Smits looks pale.

John Glenn's in outer space.

That O.J.'s still not in jail!

(I'm still looking for the real killer.)

Jerry Springer has a show.

By trash they always fight.

He'll make a video.

Have *** with them tonight.

Oprah's movie crashed.

(Titanic made the bucks.)

Armageddon was a smash.

(Godzilla movie sucks!)

Jingle bells in '98,

Interns have big thighs.

South Park is so fun to watch

But Kenny always dies.

(You bastards!)

Jingle bells in '98,

Jordan hasn't scored.

The NBA is out on strike

And Microsoft's in court.

Jingle bells in '98,

The year just came and went.

We leave you with a pleasant thought,

Al Gore's not president.

Ho Ho Ho Ho!

That Lewinsky gal's a ho ho ho!

Can't wait to get to her house.


Jorgi Jorgenson




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